A Shot of Truth with Chelsea Handler

E!'s Comedian spills about touring, being an LGBT ally and having absolutely no filter

Written by Andrea Piamonte

Photography Courtesy of NBC Universal

Published in Vital VOICE Magazine, April 2014 Issue

Chelsea’s that snarky straight girl we all know and love. Why? Because the superstar comedian really doesn’t give a f*ck what people think of her. She’s slammed down CNN’s Piers Morgan for his poor interview skills, taken over Huffington Post’s twitter for the Oscars and shrugged off the backlash and gives the straight talk about Hollywood (she’s looking at you Angelina). This quick-witted Jersey girl is outspoken and outrageous and you’ve got to offer quite a bit of respect to that.

“People are mad at me all the time. If I was worried about that then I would be spending a lot of time online. I’d rather be a little more productive,” says Chelsea during an interview with Good Morning America’s George Stephanopoulo.

The vodka-loving Chelsea definitely has the credentials to back up her talk. She’s taken Hollywood over with her ongoing national “Uganda Be Kidding Me Live” tour, authoring four best-selling books, starring on E!’s late-night comedy talk show (Chelsea Lately) and producing the unfiltered talk show Hello Ross!

Let’s get real. She’s kicking ass on all fronts.

But when it comes to the LGBT community, she’s a huge supporter and has even rocked a HRC’s Love Conquers Hate t-shirt on Chelsea Lately. She continually lends her high profile forum to support the various causes the LGBT community fights for.

Her stand-up tour, based off the recently debuted Uganda Be Kidding Me, tells the titillating tales from her travels in South Africa. Chelsea’s chronicles include her roommate and lesbian lawyer named Shelly, her cousin Molly, her oldest friend Hannah and the executive producer of her TV show, Sue. With the injury prone Chelsea along for the ride, this group surely has some stories to tell.

Get ready Missouri, Chelsea is coming to recount these anecdotes. Hurricane Handler is set to hit St. Louis on April 12 at Scottrade Center and Kansas City on May 3 at the Starlight Theatre.

Vital VOICE got the pleasure to speak with Chelsea more on her massive tour, her love for the gays and her lack of filter.

What made you decide to be a comedian in the first place?

I just didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to be an actress because I didn’t want to say anybody else’s lines. I wanted to give my own opinion and I couldn’t find any forum to do that in, other than being in stand-up comedy, so it was kind of last-stop-charlie. I was like, “Oh, I’m loud. I’m obnoxious. I should get on a stage and start talking.”

So, what can the audience expect from your tour this year?

It’s a lot of dancing, singing and nudity. I will be telling a lot of stories, hopefully that I haven’t told before. The idea is to do new material and my material from the book. It’s going to be a lot of my traveling stories because I didn’t fit a lot of them in the book — there’s just too many. When I go on vacation, I usually bring a gaggle of girls with me. We’re just really obnoxious American assholes. We kind of make our country look really bad when we leave the country because we’re very badly behaved.

They are all true stories. They can expect everything they’ve gotten before. It’s a stand-up tour, so the idea is to be funny.

Are there any pre-show rituals (weird or not) you do?

I just have a strong drink, that’s all I need.

And what is the strong drink?

It’s my vodka with like a splash… like a squirt of lemon in it. That’s what I drink during the show and before the show and usually after the show.

The name Uganda Be Kidding Me is a little random. What inspired that?

Well, the book starts with my three chapters in Africa. My five girlfriends and I went on a safari in Botswana. We went to South Africa and we went to four safaris. And so, I had to pick a country in Africa that would make a good title and Uganda Be Kidding Me just happened to fit right in.

Are there any gay stories in this book?

Of course! There are always gay people involved in my stories. I live with a lesbian who was with me on my trip. She’s an attorney so she always asks me to not use her name, but I can’t control myself.

Why do you resonate with the LGBT community? Did you have any gay friends growing up?

I don’t know, I kind of feel like a gay person because I had a tough time in school growing up. And not like I feel like I’m gay but I can totally relate to them. Being ostracized and made fun of… I think everyone has gone through that at some point. I’ve always been friends with gay people and then when I became more well known, gay people were always reaching out and asking me to things (and I pretty much say yes to anybody who reaches out to do anything), so I kind of ended up tipping the scales in favor of the gays. And here I am — almost gay myself.

You’ve made some contributions and you’re a big HRC supporter. Why is HRC important to you?

I think it’s important to fight for the rights of any human being. Especially when it’s something you aren’t experiencing yourself, I think it’s good to reach out for people that have problems that you don’t have. You can really reach across the isle and help people and show compassion to a problem that isn’t necessarily yours but you see happening in the world. So it’s always important to think outside of yourself and outside of your natural circumstances and think, “Okay, how can I help somebody? Who is fighting a fight that I don’t personally have to deal with?”

You like to push the envelope a little bit, but do you think outing somebody would be too far?

Yeah I wouldn’t out anybody, but I do have a lot of respect for people who out themselves. I think it’s an important fight to fight. We’re in a day and time where the legalization of gay marriage, overturning DOMA and everything is happening. This is the time, it’s now, it’s here and it’s a good responsibility to take upon yourself. If you are a gay person, this is the time to come out and know you have a lot of support behind you. So, I always encourage everyone I know to be as honest as they can about their lifestyle and that also goes to anyone. It’s really important to own who you are and embrace who you are.

Vital VOICE is distributed in both St. Louis and Kansas City and you will be headed here. As an East Coast girl, what your impressions of the Midwest?

Oh, I love the Midwest. Everybody is so nice and friendly. I grew up in New Jersey and then I moved to L.A. so it’s always nice to go to the Midwest. You’re like, “People are nice!” It’s like going to Spain.

So, do you have any funny stories about the Midwest?

Well the Midwest is the first time I’ve ever heard cheese curds… I remember I saw that on a menu once so I called my friend who’s from Wisconsin and I’m like, “WHAT are cheese curds?!” and she said, “Just order them and you’ll find out.” And then I did — I haven’t had them since.

So not a fan of cheese curds?

Well I mean, I just can’t eat stuff like that. Of course I’m a fan. Anything fried is good.

It’s no secret that you speak your mind and you take on topics that other talk show hosts or comedians never would. What is the most ridiculous comment you’ve ever gotten away with saying?

I get away with a lot of stuff, so I couldn’t narrow it down to one particular thing. If you just own what you say and you kind of have to be fair. I mean, I make fun of everybody. I’m Jewish, I’m a woman — I make fun of Jews, I make fun of women. I make fun of Asians, Black people, Presbyterians and even Episocaplians. You just have to be egalitarian with the way you go through life. And that way you are not being racist because you are making fun of stereotypes. Stereotypes are funny because sometimes they are true and sometimes they are not, so that’s what mixes everything up.

I’m a huge supporter of the fact you give a lot of straight talk about celebs. Tell me what’s irking you about the Hollywood scene now.

I guess people who behave like Justin Bieber. I think that’s kind of annoying. There’s just too much entitlement going on when kids are so successful and they’re so young, they completely abuse everybody around them and the situation they’re in. They completely lose their foundation and lose it all together; I mean he was a little kid when he started. That’s disappointing.

Who has been your favorite interview guest?

Mike Tyson was the best, probably ever, because the interview was so funny and I couldn’t believe how together he was. Just the way he was looking at me made me laugh. Will Ferrell is also one of my favorite people to interview.

Are there any dream guests that you haven’t had on your show yet that you’d like to speak with?

I’d like to talk to Kim Jong-un, yeah that would be good. Saddam Hussein, except he’s dead. And probably David Hasselhoff again, even though I’ve already had him on as a guest.

Your shows are best known for the hot topic commentaries, what topics are drawn to?

Anything that has a funny slant to it. You know, anything that we can make fun of. Chris Christie and the bridge gate is funny because well, he’s built like a bridge — that’s ironic. Anytime people are making asses out of themselves is fun to make fun of — like Kate Gosselin just took her children on television to talk about how well they turned out and they didn’t say a word. They were obviously not happy to be on television and obviously weren’t happy that she was their mother.

Let’s talk love life. Are you seeing anybody?

No I’m not. I’m single. I don’t go on tour with a boyfriend. I always make sure I’m single for tours.

Why’s that?

You never know what’s going to happen!

Well, you’ve dated a lot of high profile men. Name the top three celebrities you’d wanna sleep with.

No, I don’t have a hot list of celebrities I’d like to sleep with. I like to keep a lower profile in this town, so everything is working out fine for me. Well, I’d like to sleep with Michael Fassbender, but I don’t want to see him after that.

You do a great job of staying away from the tabloids, how are you able to do that?

I say everything I think on my show, so nobody is trying to find any secrets because I think they know that there aren’t any. I’m not trying to hide any sort of lifestyle. I’m pretty forthright about the way I live and the things I do. People seem to be not that interested in my personal life, which they shouldn’t be because I talk about everything on TV anyway.